Raising Confident Athletes: Teaching Ownership & Leadership

One of my biggest goals as a coach isn’t just to develop skilled softball players — it’s to help raise confident young women who know how to lead themselves and others, both on and off the field. Skills matter. Mechanics matter. Velocity matters. But confidence is what allows athletes to actually use those skills when the game gets hard.

Leadership doesn’t magically appear when athletes get older or more talented. It’s taught. It’s modeled. And it’s practiced daily. Throughout my own playing career, and now as the owner of DR3 Fastpitch, I’ve seen firsthand that the most confident athletes are not always the most gifted. They’re the ones who take ownership of their development.

Ownership is the foundation of confidence.

When athletes are trusted with responsibility — responsibility for their preparation, mindset, effort, and response to adversity — confidence naturally grows. They begin to believe, “I can handle this.” On the flip side, when adults constantly step in to fix mistakes, solve problems, or rescue emotions, we unintentionally send the message that the athlete isn’t capable on her own. Over time, that erodes confidence.

As someone with a background in Special Education, I deeply understand how confidence develops. It doesn’t come from control. It comes from trust, structure, and support. Athletes need to feel safe enough to struggle, fail, reflect, and adjust. That’s where leadership is born — not in comfort, but in learning how to work through discomfort.

Inside DR3 Fastpitch, we talk a lot about what leadership actually looks like. It’s not about being the loudest voice in the dugout or the best player on the field. Leadership shows up in effort when no one is watching. It shows up in body language after a tough inning. It shows up in how an athlete responds when things don’t go her way.

Leadership is ownership in action.

One of the biggest mistakes I see in youth sports is adults confusing “helping” with “hovering.” Helping is providing guidance, tools, and encouragement. Hovering is removing every obstacle so the athlete never has to navigate adversity on her own. While hovering may feel supportive in the moment, it actually robs athletes of confidence long-term.

Confidence grows when athletes experience small wins through ownership. Packing their own bag. Leading a warm-up. Reflecting on a performance before receiving feedback. These moments may seem insignificant, but they send a powerful message: You are capable.

Parents play a critical role in this process. The words spoken at home, the reactions in the stands, and the conversations after games all reinforce whether an athlete believes she owns her journey or is simply along for the ride. When parents encourage ownership rather than control, athletes develop independence, resilience, and leadership skills that extend far beyond softball.

At DR3, our goal is not just to create better pitchers — it’s to help develop confident young women who can lead themselves through challenges. Softball is simply the vehicle. Ownership is the lesson.

Confidence isn’t something athletes either have or don’t have. It’s built through repeated opportunities to take responsibility, make decisions, and learn from the outcomes. When we allow athletes to own their journey, we give them one of the most valuable tools they’ll ever carry — belief in themselves.