Game-Day Nerves Are Normal (And They Don’t Mean Your Athlete Isn’t Ready)

 If your daughter feels nervous before games, take a breath.

That feeling doesn’t mean she’s unprepared.
It doesn’t mean she lacks confidence.
It doesn’t mean something is wrong.

It means her body is getting ready to perform.

As the season approaches, many parents notice the same signs:
Tighter shoulders before warmups.
A quiet car ride to the field.
A sudden flood of “what ifs.”

Nerves often get labeled as weakness. But in reality, nerves are a biological response—not a character flaw.

Nerves Are a Sign the Body Is Doing Its Job

When the brain senses something important is about to happen, it activates the nervous system.

Heart rate increases.
Breathing changes.
Focus narrows.

This is the body saying, “Pay attention. This matters.”

Elite athletes feel this too. The difference isn’t that they don’t get nervous—it’s that they understand what nerves mean.

Feeling nervous doesn’t mean your athlete isn’t ready.
It means her system is preparing for competition.

Heart Rate Up? Normal.

An elevated heart rate before a game isn’t a problem to eliminate.

It’s a sign of readiness.

Blood flow increases to muscles. Reaction time sharpens. The body becomes more alert. When athletes learn that a fast heartbeat is helpful instead of scary, they stop fighting it.

The goal isn’t to calm the body completely.

The goal is to stay present inside the energy.

Butterflies? Normal.

That fluttery feeling in the stomach isn’t a sign to shut down.

It’s adrenaline.

Adrenaline increases power, speed, and intensity. When athletes try to suppress it, they often feel worse. When they accept it, the sensation passes more quickly.

Butterflies only become a problem when athletes believe they shouldn’t be there.

Racing Thoughts? Normal.

Before games, the mind gets busy.

“What if I mess up?”
“What if I strike out?”
“What if I let my team down?”

These thoughts don’t mean your athlete is mentally weak. They mean her brain is trying to predict outcomes and protect her from failure.

The mistake is trying to stop the thoughts completely.

Thoughts don’t need to disappear for athletes to perform. They just need to stop being in control.

What Matters Is the Response

Nerves themselves aren’t the issue.

How an athlete responds to them is what determines performance.

When athletes:
Fight the nerves
Judge themselves for feeling anxious
Try to “calm down” at all costs

They add pressure to an already heightened system.

But when athletes learn to:
Notice the sensation
Name it as normal
Redirect attention to controllables

The nerves become fuel instead of friction.

What Parents Can Do on Game Day

Parents play a powerful role in shaping how athletes interpret nerves.

Here’s what helps:

• Normalize the feeling
  Saying “That makes sense” is often more helpful than “Don’t be nervous.”

• Avoid last-minute technical coaching
  Game day isn’t the time for fixes. Trust the work already done.

• Focus on effort, not outcomes
  Remind her what she can control—focus, hustle, attitude.

• Stay regulated yourself
  Athletes pick up on parental stress faster than words.

Your calm helps her nervous system stay steady.

Confidence Isn’t the Absence of Nerves

One of the biggest myths in sports is that confident athletes feel calm.

They don’t.

Confident athletes feel nervous and trust themselves anyway.

They’ve learned that nerves are part of competition—not something to fear or avoid. Confidence comes from knowing, “I can perform even when I feel this.”

That skill is built over time, through experience—not by eliminating nerves.

The Bigger Picture

Softball is emotional. It’s competitive. It matters.

Feeling nervous before a game is a sign your athlete cares.

The goal isn’t to raise athletes who never feel anxious.
The goal is to raise athletes who know how to move forward with the nerves present.

Because nerves don’t disappear at higher levels.

But athletes who understand them don’t get stuck when they show up.

Game-day nerves are normal.
They are not a red flag.
They are part of competing.

What matters most isn’t how your athlete feels walking onto the field—it’s how she responds once she’s there.